The remaining 5.....

Liz failed to mention the remaining 5 of the top 10 so here it goes:

6) Our sweet bowling tournament at work. Let's just say that no one was excited but it ended up being so fun including a few swears by "the boss".

7) Our planned Costco runs at lunch so that we can strategically hit all the tasters. Might I add that today's run only had 2.

8) That sweet week where Ryan Byrd's whole week consisted of different outfits from China and that one day where he came as a cowboy. (See below)


9) Free lunch at the country club
10) The day that one of our employees got his "employee of the month" plaque stolen. All hell broke loose around the office until that $3.50 gem was returned. Few!!

BEST job ever

TOP TEN FUNNIEST WORK MOMENTS (IN SEPTEMBER OF COURSE!!)
1. "Don't steal the water beotch" (what i really wanted to write to my fellow employees about taking the water bottles in the breakroom)
2. "Dear Alli (apparently the office nazi),
Would you or Gary care if I bring a smelly candle to work?
love, **"
3. Me writing to a VP in a report if he wanted to "Take ME for a test drive" instead of "Take IT for a test drive"...not very funny until he asked me if that was a Freudian SLIP.
4. Lance telling alli he was unsure of his bowling team because "he and ** had a spat"
5. "That dont kill me can only make me stronger"- my feelings about making board books with alli until 10PM that apparently "no one is going to read " (according to our COO)...at least we could listen to alli's favorite rap station while alone in the office
BONUS*** The Burley office running out of ink, paper, power, pens...

this little piggy went to the ...

Everyone loves a little bum...

Life as a west sider....okay just for a night (seriously, lets not judge)

Do you think that just because we ventured to west of state street that you cannot all be lovers and not haters??? i mean what time of the year is it? It is the time to get fat eating corn dogs and funnel cakes, get tatoos that tell you are sexy because your husband no longer does and it is the time of year when you can finally pay $1 to look at 1,000 lb pig (well, if you are elissa). It is FAIR time.








Not just any fair, but old fashioned, west valley attending, utah's finest, come to this and we all stare at the largest pig the smallest pig and the babies pigs. And then they send you into a trailer to have you read more about "pork, the other white meat..." sad...those poor pigs. I mean maybe no one else understands the irony in all this but i kept wondering how i could look at those pigs and then read about bacon for breakfast (and how it has less fat than bacon did 15 years ago)! Aside from Elissa looking for wilbur and realizing her time with children is starting to affect her social life... i'd say the pig experience was the only downfall of the fair...
The next stop on our fair tour could have been to a ride or even a sip of lemonade but NOOO, alli, being the observant fairgoer that she is realized that we were not quite fitting in....how else to fit in but to head right to the heart of ghetto 101.
(Ignore the drunk stare please) i assure you i was immensely pleased with my purple lesbianesque unicorn tattoo across my shoulder. I could only have been more jealous to have a growling lion roaring back at me--but alli represented the lion so well that even the man hitting on her leaving the tattoo booth could have sworn that they knew eachother from somewhere (or if she was up to it---they could)...better than the woman giving me the tattoo who lingered a little to long on my unicorn (i might as well have put a rainbow on my forehead and waved a flag).
Elissa was wondering where our dates were...but she found hers on the way home. The problem is that one she did not know him, two, he did not know her, and maybe for a small second we based this "match" based completely on how his very SEXY legs looked riding a motorcycle. I know you might all want to judge. DONT- did you see the last post about don juan, at least this time elissa is choosing men where they could drive their own motorcyle because their legs are long enough! We were proud! (elis- you did not think i was going to leave you out of this post...besides we all stalked the hot motorcycle man, AND it was only for two...ummm ten BLOCKS.) Besides it is better than meeting him while doing pullups at the gym (cough cough, lol)
DATES?!!! maybe next year...maybe not....who knows.... but honestly i am pretty sure there were some guys there that would have made those white trash pictures from the post below a reality in a heartbeat-
If you know anyone who wants a cowgirl, a japanese princess, and a ghetto superstar you know where to find us!!

Tagged....

Thanks, Katie...

5 Things I was Doing 10 Years Ago

1) It was my Junior year of high school which = Pep Club!! (shout out to my fellow Rams)
2) My fam had just moved to Cottonwood Heights and I had just started hangin' out with "The Brighton Boys"
3) Pretty sure I still had the best job of my life - Zuka Juice. I'd go back in a second if it didn't pay $5/hour
4) Positive that I didn't have a care in the world. My world revolved around the drama with friends, the drama my friends caused, and the drama of boys.
5) My dad just bought my 1995 jetta. It was definitely a sweet ride and we drove it til it died

5 Things on my To-Do List

1) Finish all the stuff I have to do at work
2) Go to Tap
3) Watch The Hills
4) Hit a bucket of balls with my pops
5) Go to the gym

5 Things I would do if I was a millionaire

1) Buy real estate, real estate, real estate!
2) Stop working
3) Spend all summer at Lake Powell on a sweet houseboat
4) Spend time in South America
5) Buy each of you something real, real nice

5 Things I will never wear again and 1 I thought I would never wear again

1) skorts
2) scrunchies
3) over-sized T's
4) Doc Martens
5) leotards

1) A sleeper, feet included. ( I found one, made for a big person, feet and all. So comfy...)

5 of my Favorite toys
1) Ipod
2) Tennis raquet
3) Tap Shoes
4) Golf clubs
5) Guitar hero (guilty pleasure)

Best in Trash

So, for the past couple of years, my brother Adam has a white trash party in the summer. This year did not disappoint! I know it was a while ago but these are too good not to post.

I know that my parents are so proud.

Based on previous posts, is it any surprise that Elissa is knocked up?

The Proud Family

Apparently we are slutty white trash girls. Let's be honest.. When you are shopping at the DI, it's either frumpy or slutty. We chose slutty.

Under the stars in Wyoming

The Kennedys!!

Liz failed to mention that on our way to Star Valley, we made a stop in Randolph, Utah to visit Grandpa and Grandma Kennedy. Contrary to the look on their faces, they are very happy people. Apparently, Grandpa Kennedy has some great stories up his sleeve but he was a little shy and wouldn't divulge any. I think they were both just glad to find out that Liz and Joe are JUST FRIENDS... I will say that next time I drive through Randolph, Utah, I'll be sure to remember Grandma and Grandpa Kennedy, and their dolls....

Before last weekend, I had never been anywhere in Wyoming but Jackson Hole. Now I can say I have had the sweet pleasure of going to Star Valley. Here are some pics to prove it!

We roasted mallows

We fed the fish

We ate at Bubbas in Jackson

We did some swimmin'

We modeled...

We laughed at Gunner

We swam with Gunner

Overall, it was a fantastic trip! Thanks for the invite Liz!

Make the face if .....

Ally was a lesbian

Franny is not the only one with same sex attraction (think riley)...

would you kiss andy if he was a foot taller and did not speak...

A damn Beaver, five boys (not men), don juan, and a very horny dog (sob sob)

Can i set the stage for you? We pull up to my cabin in Star Valley, WY and my dad is attempting to hunt a beaver in the river. We then hear the sound of a gun (which resides on my dad's hip the entire weekend because he is a born redneck) and we hear my dad's booming voice say "that beaver sonofabitch..." And Alli thinks he is scary??!! Lets talk about his scariness-- he is shooting at shadows, swearing, all while wearing a hawaiian-print 1984, button down, with his gun stratigically showing. NOT SCARY! alli and my dad definitely bonded.
Alli and i have had so many adventures building up this past month but the unfortunate truth is that for some reason people have started to actually read our blog. What kind of dilemna does this present? Well...in our blog, i might want to, maybe mention our hot coworker, or the crush alli has on her married friend wade (these are all hypotheticals of course), but now i am not sure if that will work...i mean if people are reading this i might need to limit what i say. hmmm, i will consider that next time.
So back to the cabin adventure from HELL. Women are always told they are dramatic...some yes. Unfortunately, franny (my now lesbian dog) has also realized she does not need males to make her happy..NO i will not spell it out for you. There is TWO things wrong with her. ONE, franny's love interest happens to be female (not right) and TWO, it happens to be our other dog (that is franny's sister)...what is wrong with her! In her defense franny was feeling the love, as were a couple of others....lets talk about that.

Elissa and Mr. Don juan certainly had their own love connection! WOW. elissa and her random makeouts. i dont know sometimes i think she makes wise decisions but then i think she must have closed her eyes from the moment she met the guy/31 year old. I have never seen elissa with such vigor and intent. The best part of the whole experience was when elissa realized we had planned the whole makeout and i looked upstairs she said, "i hate you guys." and slammed the door. Little did we know that Mr. Don juan is not as short laying down and that he was on the other side of the slammed door! she is such a scammer. Elissa we know you were grateful in the end!
We had a humerous time to say the least...especially when i was called an "elitist"- i really liked that.

Comment on that!! Don't be haters be lovers...