Thanksgiving Extravaganza!

So, every year, my extended family does a Thanksgiving shootout. It brings out the white trash side of us, which we love. We have been doing this for as long as I can remember and I have been losing in the first round for as long as I can remember. It does leave some down time to be creative out there on the west side. A few years ago, Brooke, Mikey and I decided that we were going to make a "Gun" calendar. The pictures were taken yet the calendar was never born. Maybe this year... The Michigan Stews have also won the "Reeses Cup" competition for as long as I can remember. My bros are usually in the finals but we can never seem to pull out a win. This year, Chris had to work so we were leaning on Adam and Mike. My poor dad is the king of choking under pressure so he was hopeless. Adam and Mike and to go head to head in the semis and Adam prevailed.

This unfortunately was not the end of the battle. He then had to go up against the reiging champ, my cousin Scott. Although he was pale and shakey, he defeated him. The rest of us were just as surprised as he was that we had made it to the finals. This would be the toughest battle of all. He had to go against the mother ship, my uncle Bruce. Adam isn't very good under pressure and I knew it was bad when he needed to throw up before he shot.
To our dismay, the pressure was too much. Between the bribes from my dad and the thought of being disowned from the family, he choked and the Parkridge Stews lost again.

On a happier note, we had a lovely Thanksgiving and Luke was privledged to have his own meal. Solid foods for the first time! What a champ!

Pageant Time!!!

A couple of weeks ago, we had the chance to go to the Miss Utah/Teen Utah USA pageant. Let me tell you, those girls can strut and pose like it's nobody's business. Between the MC's that desperately tried to be funny but miserably failed, and the former beauty queens who sat in the audience crowns and all, it was a fabulous night.
As we took our seats, I wondered, "who comes to these things?" Apparently,it is only parents, former pageant queens, and us. Luckily we were able to move from our $25 seats to $75 seats because of the lack of attendees.

As we were walking in, we collectively decided that we would pick a girl and cheer for her the whole time. This cute little high schooler was holding up this sign for Anya. We soon found out that Anya was his girlfriend from Jordan Landing. Bless her little heart, she made it into the top 10. It was a good thing she did because her boyfriend looked like he was going to pass out before her name was called. AND, who lives on Antelope Island?? Whoever it is, they were well represented along with a bunch of other made up places in Utah.

This picture was taken at intermission 2 HOURS into the show! If those girls would just walk a little faster and not pose for 20 seconds at 4 different points on the stage, it would have cut at least an hour off the show. We were exhausted by intermission and decided to take our party elsewhere.

We later found out that Anya didn't win and the title was taken by a former Miss Utah in the Miss America pageant. The nerve....Seriously, you've had your walk down the runway, give someone else a chance! Regardless, it was good times.

We are going private

Hey!
We have decided to make our blog private so all the creepy people that follow it can't anymore. Send us your email (alli562@gmail.com or lizadamskennedy@gmail.com) if you want to follow it. Thanks!

Alli & Liz

Let's get Physical

A story by liz and alli at 10:52PM

I gotta handle you just right,
You know what I mean
I took you to an intimate restaurant,
Then to a suggestive movie
There's nothin' left to talk about,
Unless it's horizontally

Let's get physical, physical,
I wanna get physical, let's get into physical
Let me hear your body talk,
Your body talk, let me hear your body talk




What do you get when you put 5 gals wanting to remake Olivia Newton John's "Let's get Physical" music video?

First comes the body auditions. With enough spandex, big hair and bright makeup, anything is possible. Between Elissa's frufru tutu and her hand-me-down panties from her highschool cheerleading days, we were a sight for sore eyes.



The men in our entourage wouldn't do so we had to pick up these sly dogs (Patrick & Steven) and bring them along. Needless to say, they made it.
Even though our peeps wouldn't work, they had tight buns. Meanwhile, Cindy Lauper and Elvis started making their own video while Johnny Mac longingly watched from afar.



Next, came the dance auditions. If you have seen Liz dance, you know that she didn't make it, Elvis only wanted to dance to blue suede shoes, and Johnny Mac's shorts were cut so high that his moves scared the ladies away. In the end, Elissa wanted to go to bed, and I needed a drink. Here's to getting sloshed!



JK. The end.

100 things you know or don't know about me - or care for that matter

I'm sitting my hotel room on a Saturday night in Philadelphia with nothing to do and I've heard this is theraputic....so hear it goes!

1) I have the best parents in the world! I want the kind of marriage that they have and after 32+ years, they are still in love.
2) At this stage of my life, I love my independence a little more than I probably should.
3) I never thought I would say this but I will probably go back to school and get a masters in human resources-for those wondering, yes, it does exist.
4) I have been taking a tap class for 4 years and I am pretty damn good.
5) I can honestly say that I love my job!!
6) Even though I moved out 8 months ago, I go to my parents house at least 3 times a week.
7) I'm a sucker for mocha ice cream, actually mocha anything. If I drank coffee, I know I would drink 10 cups a day.
8) I only wash my hair twice a week.
9) I regret not going on a mission.
10) I want to be fluent in spanish and will do what it takes to get there.
11) I get the greatest pleasure when I serve and I would love to start a humanitarian organization one day.
12) I'm so excited to be a mom!
13) I am goofy and sometimes don't act my age.
14) If I could live anywhere, it would be at Lake Powell. There is something magical about that place.
15) I was a ballerina for 12 years.
16) My absolute number one celebrity crush is Dennis Quaid.
17) I LOVE to play tennis.
18) Neil Diamond is my idle in more ways than one.
19) I am surrounded by good men in my life. My dad and brothers are fantastic people.
20) My mom is the most talented person I know.
21) I am a daddy's girl.
22) I may have a slight shopping addiction. I am trying to control it.
23) I have an obsession with hair products. I love trying new ones!
24) I LOVE my jeep cherokee but the day I take it offroading with be a cold day in hell.
25) I wish growing up that I played soccer but I think my mom made me dance, which I ended up loving.
26) I want to be like my grandpa when I grow up.
27) I'm not a good communicator - I'm working on it.
28) Up until this point in my life, I have always had more guy friends than girlfriends and I wouldn't change that for the world.
29) I have only been in love once and I didn't realize it til it was gone.
31) Not having any sisters, I love having a sister-in-law.
32) I love quirky comedy (i.e. The Office, Arrested Development, Waiting for Guffman)
33) I swear that one day I will be a good cook.
34) I love a good Sunday drive, it's good think time.
35) I had the best childhood ever! Every memory is a good one.
36) My dad is the Christmas man, he sells commercial Christmas decorations for a living.
37) I used to make fun of redheads until my adorable nephew was born.
38) Going to South America changed my whole outlook on life.
39) My favorite meal is my mom's chicken lasagne.
40) I would be content with all boys but I only want one girl-too much drama.
41) I could write a book about the number of bad dates I have been on.
42) I want to own horses one day.
43) I used to be a blonde....they don't have more fun.
44) I love watching sports, I know this is weird but I especially LOVE watching golf.
45) I've never heard of a 5 minute shower. I like em long.
46) I love my dog like he's a sibling and I'm going to need therapy when he dies.
47) I am closer with our family's best friends than I am with any of my extended family.
48) I love to waterski and I should be much better than I actually am.
49) I could lay in the sun forever.
50) I have an obsession with my split ends. I could look at my hair for hours.
51) I ALWAYS wear heals unless I am with a short man.
52) I own a onesie that fits me with room to grow.
53) I learned to play golf this summer and with some practice, might be pretty good.
54) For years, my favorite movie was Twister.
55) My brother Mike is the funniest person I know. He is what I miss most about living at home....and Riley.
56) My brother Chris is the hardest worker. That guy works 12 hour days and never complains.
57) I wish I had Adam's heart. He will do anything for anyone at anytime.
58) I am very optimistic and probably a little too laid back.
59) I want to marry someone like my dad. I know....it's gonna be tough.
60) I can't whistle.
61) I love making other people happy and would much rather spend money on someone else as opposed to myself.
62) I think I should really be left-handed. I do everything with my left hand.
63) I wish I had thicker hair-I would save tons of money on volumizing hair products.
64) I have an obsession with reality tv. I can sit down, watch something I have never seen before and become totally addicted.
65) I love trashy magazines. I would love a monthly suscription but I think that would be borderline ridiculous.
66) If you don't know me, you might think I am shy.
67) Like shopping, I am addicted to finding new songs on itunes.
68) I hate flying!! Sitting on a plane for more than 4 hours makes me mean.
69) On the other hand, I am always up for a good road trip.
70) My birthday is on New Year's Eve, the crappiest holiday ever.
71) I truly believe that what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.
72) I am grateful for my trials. Without them, I wouldn't be the person I am today.
73) I love the Nutcracker and force whoever I am dating at Christmas to come with me, whether they like it or not.
74) I love country music, it always makes me happy.
75) I live Utah and don't ski. There is something seriously wrong with that.
76) I tend to fall in love with all of my boyfriend's families and when it doesn't work out, I usually miss them more than him.
77) I have been blessed with spectacular friends. Each of them have qualities that I truly admire.
78) From 7th to 12th grade, I peed my pants on multiple occasions.
79) I'm not as spontaneous as I would like to be.
80) I have my own signature dance move, some of you know what I'm talking about.
81) I love flowers and I have been known to buy them for myself.
82) Costco is the greatest store ever invented.
83) I tried to become a runner, til I realized how much I hated it.
84) I have never in my life had bangs and chicken out everytime I get my hair cut.
85) I religiously get my hair cut every 8 weeks.
86) I have the best nails and love to give myself arm tickles.
87) I love Little Debbie and she makes the greatest oatmeal pies!
88) I have a dent in my leg. Ask me sometime and I will show you.
89) I can't go to bed earlier than 11PM.
90) I used to wear swimsuit bottoms when I ran out of underwear.
91) I love the church and I wish I knew more than I do, something to strive for.
92) I could be with my family all the time and never get sick of them.
93) I should have studied way more in college than I did.
94) I know what I want and I am never going to settle.
95) Speaking of settling, I could play Settlers of Catan every night.
96) I love hot chocolate, every flavor imaginable with lots of whip cream.
97) One day, I will learn how to play the harp.
98) I drive at least 10 miles over the speed limit everywhere I go.
99) I hate feet, not my own, just everyone else's.
100)I love my life! I have been richly blessed!

Alli

My side of the story~

Really alli makes it seem like it was all hearts and flowers on Saturday. Oh wait, there were some hearts. Mainly coming from Elissa and her date, but also coming from my dates carving abilities. Wow, alli found quite the gem in terms of the carving department. I have been known to get a little competitive and that does not exclude carving pumpkins. But luckily the only criteria for the date be that he have mad skills with a knife (does that sound right??). Well he did and we ended up with a ...spider and a heart. okay so we sucked... but look at alli's!!? What is that! (yes one eye is bigger than the other!)

Pumpkins and Pizza!

On Saturday night, we decided to venture out of our comfort zones and plan a date night. Knowing us, something like this wouldn't have actually happened but Elissa decided to take the fist leap and ask someone out. When this happened, Liz and I were desperate to find dates and it may be hardest thing we have ever had to do. In my younger years, I had no problem finding a date. If I didn't have anyone I was interested in, I had about 20 back ups that I could take. These days, all my friends are married so finding someone that I actually want to go out sometimes puts me in a pickle. Luckily, my good friend Katie Christensen came through and found me a man! Thanks Katie!

Our pumpkins! I know mine looks slightly handi but I swear we followed the pattern!

Is there love in the air?? Who carves a heart with your initials in it on a first/blind date?? Think about that...

Oh Eli, your sarcasm was a "real treat".

Overall, gay old times were had, it was one for the books!

It was a long day....

The looks on our faces say it all...Let's just say it was a long Friday. AND, we would like to introduce our friend Lance. Poor Lance has to listen to our cubicle conversations on a DAILY basis, poor sap. He is our controller so all the money goes in and out through Lance. Our boss is Danny Lee. Now I know what you are thinking. "How cute, a little asian man!" I know you are thinking that because that is what I thought before I met Danny. The 4 of us make a pretty good combo, if I do say so myself!

three hot lunch ladies, two spandex clad girls and a white dove in a tall tree

I must say these pictures bring me back to the days when every year i was a different form of a clown. Let me explain...88' clown with big hair (my own hair sprayed high), 89' clown with big feet (my own once again), 89' clown with costume too short (i grew...).
ANYWAY, let me just say this weekend i went away from the trauma of my youth and we decided to be very eco-friendly trees. What better way to represent nature than to cut it down? We only had a couple of set backs. Let me tell them to you in order of difficulty:
1. I did not realize that a "landscaped" yard actually might be affected if i decided to take down a tree for this small project. My mom however did realize. Let's just say that she maybe told me to "borrow" from the church next time...
2. Did you know that duct tape catches on hair, thus ripping, milding causing pain? Also FYI, duct tape cuts off circulation when not properly wrapped around the body (this one i only realized when my fingers turned blue...)
3. Have you ever tried driving as a tree? Even worse have you ever tried hitting on the men in the car next to you as a tree (it does not work in your favor). Which is why Ally Baldwin WILLINGLY took over where alli could not preform.
4. Have you ever tried dancing as a tree? Refer to Exhibit A....look at my face...even worse-look at Elissa's face (yes she might have lived up to the role and drank like a skank...lol).
5. LAst but not least i have not seen my body be this plastered to itself since 1998 when we were saran wrapped dolls for halloween...because this time between the duct tape and the spandex i was a whole new women!!!

The remaining 5.....

Liz failed to mention the remaining 5 of the top 10 so here it goes:

6) Our sweet bowling tournament at work. Let's just say that no one was excited but it ended up being so fun including a few swears by "the boss".

7) Our planned Costco runs at lunch so that we can strategically hit all the tasters. Might I add that today's run only had 2.

8) That sweet week where Ryan Byrd's whole week consisted of different outfits from China and that one day where he came as a cowboy. (See below)


9) Free lunch at the country club
10) The day that one of our employees got his "employee of the month" plaque stolen. All hell broke loose around the office until that $3.50 gem was returned. Few!!

BEST job ever

TOP TEN FUNNIEST WORK MOMENTS (IN SEPTEMBER OF COURSE!!)
1. "Don't steal the water beotch" (what i really wanted to write to my fellow employees about taking the water bottles in the breakroom)
2. "Dear Alli (apparently the office nazi),
Would you or Gary care if I bring a smelly candle to work?
love, **"
3. Me writing to a VP in a report if he wanted to "Take ME for a test drive" instead of "Take IT for a test drive"...not very funny until he asked me if that was a Freudian SLIP.
4. Lance telling alli he was unsure of his bowling team because "he and ** had a spat"
5. "That dont kill me can only make me stronger"- my feelings about making board books with alli until 10PM that apparently "no one is going to read " (according to our COO)...at least we could listen to alli's favorite rap station while alone in the office
BONUS*** The Burley office running out of ink, paper, power, pens...

this little piggy went to the ...

Everyone loves a little bum...

Life as a west sider....okay just for a night (seriously, lets not judge)

Do you think that just because we ventured to west of state street that you cannot all be lovers and not haters??? i mean what time of the year is it? It is the time to get fat eating corn dogs and funnel cakes, get tatoos that tell you are sexy because your husband no longer does and it is the time of year when you can finally pay $1 to look at 1,000 lb pig (well, if you are elissa). It is FAIR time.








Not just any fair, but old fashioned, west valley attending, utah's finest, come to this and we all stare at the largest pig the smallest pig and the babies pigs. And then they send you into a trailer to have you read more about "pork, the other white meat..." sad...those poor pigs. I mean maybe no one else understands the irony in all this but i kept wondering how i could look at those pigs and then read about bacon for breakfast (and how it has less fat than bacon did 15 years ago)! Aside from Elissa looking for wilbur and realizing her time with children is starting to affect her social life... i'd say the pig experience was the only downfall of the fair...
The next stop on our fair tour could have been to a ride or even a sip of lemonade but NOOO, alli, being the observant fairgoer that she is realized that we were not quite fitting in....how else to fit in but to head right to the heart of ghetto 101.
(Ignore the drunk stare please) i assure you i was immensely pleased with my purple lesbianesque unicorn tattoo across my shoulder. I could only have been more jealous to have a growling lion roaring back at me--but alli represented the lion so well that even the man hitting on her leaving the tattoo booth could have sworn that they knew eachother from somewhere (or if she was up to it---they could)...better than the woman giving me the tattoo who lingered a little to long on my unicorn (i might as well have put a rainbow on my forehead and waved a flag).
Elissa was wondering where our dates were...but she found hers on the way home. The problem is that one she did not know him, two, he did not know her, and maybe for a small second we based this "match" based completely on how his very SEXY legs looked riding a motorcycle. I know you might all want to judge. DONT- did you see the last post about don juan, at least this time elissa is choosing men where they could drive their own motorcyle because their legs are long enough! We were proud! (elis- you did not think i was going to leave you out of this post...besides we all stalked the hot motorcycle man, AND it was only for two...ummm ten BLOCKS.) Besides it is better than meeting him while doing pullups at the gym (cough cough, lol)
DATES?!!! maybe next year...maybe not....who knows.... but honestly i am pretty sure there were some guys there that would have made those white trash pictures from the post below a reality in a heartbeat-
If you know anyone who wants a cowgirl, a japanese princess, and a ghetto superstar you know where to find us!!

Tagged....

Thanks, Katie...

5 Things I was Doing 10 Years Ago

1) It was my Junior year of high school which = Pep Club!! (shout out to my fellow Rams)
2) My fam had just moved to Cottonwood Heights and I had just started hangin' out with "The Brighton Boys"
3) Pretty sure I still had the best job of my life - Zuka Juice. I'd go back in a second if it didn't pay $5/hour
4) Positive that I didn't have a care in the world. My world revolved around the drama with friends, the drama my friends caused, and the drama of boys.
5) My dad just bought my 1995 jetta. It was definitely a sweet ride and we drove it til it died

5 Things on my To-Do List

1) Finish all the stuff I have to do at work
2) Go to Tap
3) Watch The Hills
4) Hit a bucket of balls with my pops
5) Go to the gym

5 Things I would do if I was a millionaire

1) Buy real estate, real estate, real estate!
2) Stop working
3) Spend all summer at Lake Powell on a sweet houseboat
4) Spend time in South America
5) Buy each of you something real, real nice

5 Things I will never wear again and 1 I thought I would never wear again

1) skorts
2) scrunchies
3) over-sized T's
4) Doc Martens
5) leotards

1) A sleeper, feet included. ( I found one, made for a big person, feet and all. So comfy...)

5 of my Favorite toys
1) Ipod
2) Tennis raquet
3) Tap Shoes
4) Golf clubs
5) Guitar hero (guilty pleasure)

Best in Trash

So, for the past couple of years, my brother Adam has a white trash party in the summer. This year did not disappoint! I know it was a while ago but these are too good not to post.

I know that my parents are so proud.

Based on previous posts, is it any surprise that Elissa is knocked up?

The Proud Family

Apparently we are slutty white trash girls. Let's be honest.. When you are shopping at the DI, it's either frumpy or slutty. We chose slutty.

Under the stars in Wyoming

The Kennedys!!

Liz failed to mention that on our way to Star Valley, we made a stop in Randolph, Utah to visit Grandpa and Grandma Kennedy. Contrary to the look on their faces, they are very happy people. Apparently, Grandpa Kennedy has some great stories up his sleeve but he was a little shy and wouldn't divulge any. I think they were both just glad to find out that Liz and Joe are JUST FRIENDS... I will say that next time I drive through Randolph, Utah, I'll be sure to remember Grandma and Grandpa Kennedy, and their dolls....

Before last weekend, I had never been anywhere in Wyoming but Jackson Hole. Now I can say I have had the sweet pleasure of going to Star Valley. Here are some pics to prove it!

We roasted mallows

We fed the fish

We ate at Bubbas in Jackson

We did some swimmin'

We modeled...

We laughed at Gunner

We swam with Gunner

Overall, it was a fantastic trip! Thanks for the invite Liz!

Make the face if .....

Ally was a lesbian

Franny is not the only one with same sex attraction (think riley)...

would you kiss andy if he was a foot taller and did not speak...

A damn Beaver, five boys (not men), don juan, and a very horny dog (sob sob)

Can i set the stage for you? We pull up to my cabin in Star Valley, WY and my dad is attempting to hunt a beaver in the river. We then hear the sound of a gun (which resides on my dad's hip the entire weekend because he is a born redneck) and we hear my dad's booming voice say "that beaver sonofabitch..." And Alli thinks he is scary??!! Lets talk about his scariness-- he is shooting at shadows, swearing, all while wearing a hawaiian-print 1984, button down, with his gun stratigically showing. NOT SCARY! alli and my dad definitely bonded.
Alli and i have had so many adventures building up this past month but the unfortunate truth is that for some reason people have started to actually read our blog. What kind of dilemna does this present? Well...in our blog, i might want to, maybe mention our hot coworker, or the crush alli has on her married friend wade (these are all hypotheticals of course), but now i am not sure if that will work...i mean if people are reading this i might need to limit what i say. hmmm, i will consider that next time.
So back to the cabin adventure from HELL. Women are always told they are dramatic...some yes. Unfortunately, franny (my now lesbian dog) has also realized she does not need males to make her happy..NO i will not spell it out for you. There is TWO things wrong with her. ONE, franny's love interest happens to be female (not right) and TWO, it happens to be our other dog (that is franny's sister)...what is wrong with her! In her defense franny was feeling the love, as were a couple of others....lets talk about that.

Elissa and Mr. Don juan certainly had their own love connection! WOW. elissa and her random makeouts. i dont know sometimes i think she makes wise decisions but then i think she must have closed her eyes from the moment she met the guy/31 year old. I have never seen elissa with such vigor and intent. The best part of the whole experience was when elissa realized we had planned the whole makeout and i looked upstairs she said, "i hate you guys." and slammed the door. Little did we know that Mr. Don juan is not as short laying down and that he was on the other side of the slammed door! she is such a scammer. Elissa we know you were grateful in the end!
We had a humerous time to say the least...especially when i was called an "elitist"- i really liked that.

Comment on that!! Don't be haters be lovers...