Have you heard the news??

I just got super excited because I found out that this is really happening. I have heard rumors swirling for months and I can now sleep at night because it's been confirmed. If you haven't seen the show, I would highly recommend renting the three seasons that are available. I assure you....you will not be disappointed.

Confessions

So, maybe I set my alarm an hour earlier than I usually get up so that I could hear Jillian from the Bachelor on 97.1. I usually don't see the light of day any earlier than 7:30 but today was a special exception. I love her and she DID NOT disappoint! I decided that if we knew each other in real life, we would totally be friends...

Second, my friend Jayna had a dessert party on Saturday night. I went to the gym that morning and decided that I would work out for an extra hour so I could eat til my little heart was content later that night. I think I went back for seconds 6-7 times so I'm not sure that my extra efforts were worth anything. We were all sitting around the table chatting when a little favorite of mine popped up on Jayna's IPod. Hold On by Wilson Phillips. A classic for any girl (0r guy for that matter) that grew up in the early 90's. Immediately, we all started singing in unison. Before we knew it, we could no longer hear the delectable sounds of Carnie, Wendy and Chynna. We suddenly split into a 2-part harmony and I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a little tear in my eye. Who knew we could all sound so good?? I'm in band so I wasn't surprised by my own vocals but the rest of those closet singers were NOT messing around!

This led to a conversation about how we could sing this in Relief Society and get away with it. Listen to the words...it could TOTALLY be gospel related, ESPECIALLY in a singles ward. Our little minds were churning and if you know my ward, anything goes, so I seriously don't see it causing a problem. Sadly, there is probably a small percentage of girls who have never heard of the WP. They should be shot. Some classic tunes came from those girls and you can thank me later for giving you a little sample below. I do need a musical number for RS in a few weeks so warm up your vocals girls!

**If you didn't catch my sarcasm, yes, I am in a band, and no we are not good, even though we are called "The Goods". Our Christmas album was nothing short of fantastic though and we are currently in the studio recording a "pop" album. More details to come.

Hello Lionel.

If you haven't seen this music video, you don't know what you're missing. Watch it. It is worth the 5 minutes and 27 seconds. It is a real shame that they don't make em like they used to.

A few observations:

1: A blind person's eyes don't look like that.
2: It seems unlikely that she would be able to dance AND do pottery as a blind person. I'm just sayin'.
3: It's official. Lionel is creepy.

Funny things

I was thinking of funny things yesterday. You know, things that will always be funny, no matter how much time passes or how old you are. My friend Dave posted this picture on his FB account and whenever I need a laugh, I always come back to this. Single-handedly the greatest pic ever.



There are a lot of things about this picture that make it so great.

1. The resthome. I'm sure Dave was just trying to do his civic duty and give back to the community with a little musical cheer.
2. He must not be very good, judging by the look on their faces.
3. The lady on the far left has apparently "passed".
4. The lady on the far right is pained by whatever Dave is singing.
5. There is a strange yellow liquid on the table which has a strong resemblance to urine.
6. Dave is just singing away. Bless his heart.

PS: Have you ever noticed that you can seriously say ANYTHING about anyone, good or bad, and if you say, "bless his/her heart" after, it makes it okay? Here are some examples:

"He is such a loser. Bless his heart."
"Poor guy couldn't get a date no matter how hard he tried. Bless his heart."
"She has SERIOUS issues. Bless her heart."

Works every time.

Valentines in SV

Some friends and I decided to take a little weekend getaway to Sun Valley last week. We were having a blast sporting some 1980's snowsuits that we found at Sun Valley's version of the DI, The Gold Mine. I think we went there twice a day for various items. I am telling you, my snowsuit was made for my body! Not only did I wear it for 3 straight days, but I wanted to sleep in it too. It even came with a mysterious stain in the bum area....never looked too closely to determine what it was but I think we all know. See below.


All was well until we decided to go sledding on the last day. The hill looked a little freaky and it was full of bumps. Let's be honest though, we really just needed another excuse to wear our one-piecers. We were there for about 20 minutes when Monique decided to get crazy. Last thing I saw was her flying down the mountain. At one point she got about 3 feet of air. We were dying laughing until she stopped and we realized she was hurt. This is the scene right after the incident. She couldn't get up but was kind enough to let me take a picture. I told her she would thank me later.




This is cute little Kelli pulling her to the car

She thought she broke her tailbone so we decided to take a trip to the ER to check it out. Don't mind us looking homeless.







The bad news is that she had to spend a few hours in the ER and get a shot in the rear. And that little compression fracture she got in her lower back. The good news is that she got all drugged up and has to use a walker for 4-6 weeks...She was laughing just as hard as we were so I don't feel so bad. It certainly makes a good story.

And on the way home, we bought ourselves a little Valentines Gift at the Flying J. A sweet pink t-shirt with a buck on the whole front side. On top of the buck in some sweet writing it says, "this babe bags bucks". You better believe we do. I'll have to post a pic of that later.

**Our celeb siting for the week was Jodi Foster up in the village. This was our conversation after we heard the sales lady ask her if she was Jodi Foster.

Alli: "Oh my gosh, that is Jodi Foster."
Kelli: "Oh jeez, what should we do?"

We just stood there as she walked out of the store. We are nerds.

Brilliant..

A couple of nights ago, I had the chance to go down and volunteer at the homeless shelter. I have never been there before and it was a sobering experience. We got to decorate Valentine's cookies and make Valentine's boxes with the kids. I just wanted to take this cute little girl, Janessa, home with me. When we asked her what she wanted on her box, she specified Doritos. It actually makes perfect sense. Walking around that classroom passing out your V-day cards is tiring! And there is nothing like a little dorito pick-me-up if you will. She was absolutely adorable and it was hard walking out the doors, leaving her in that horrible place.

As a side note, she wanted to make another box for her 3-year-old brother, Angel. Her one request for this box? A midget. She saw "a little man" at the park the other day and was intrigued. We thought maybe she saw a little boy but she was POSITIVE it was a man. Her request was granted. Sadly, I forgot to take a picture of how that turned out.

The Nerve.

Warning: Fake names will be used to protect the innocent or not-so-innocent characters in this story.

So, I have a story about two "friends". We'll call them Suzie and Tom. Suzie and Tom had been friends for a good 5 or 6 years. They dated about 3 years ago and it wasn't really going anywhere so they amicably went their separate ways. A few years later, they ended up being in the same ward again. Tom just got out of a really bad relationship and was looking for a new beginning. Suzie agreed to go out with Tom because she knew that they always had a good time together.

One thing led to another and they were back on again. They spent their winter weekends away trying to escape the SL smog for the SG sun. They had a lot of fun together but Suzie just couldn't get Tom to commit. Tom was quite the sweet talker and always had a good excuse for why he was acting a certain way. He would always blame Suzie for his actions and she always ended up apologizing for something that wasn't her fault. Their relationship was moving at a snail's pace but Suzie always had a lot of fun with Tom so she decided to hold out. Winter turned to spring which later turned to summer. One night, Tom and Suzie decided to go golfing. As they went back to the restaurant where they left Tom's car, they ran into Tom's X, Jill. Suzie and Jill didn't know each other so Tom introduced them. While Suzie sat waiting in the car, Tom and Jill got in a huge argument in the parking lot. Suzie felt awkward so decided to leave. Tom assured her that he would only be a few minutes and would come to Suzie's house.

When Tom arrived, he had a great story of why they were fighting. He defended Suzie to Jill and told her told her that Jill was crazy and couldn't get over him. The next day Suzie found out what really happened. Apparently Tom had proposed to Jill a few days before so naturally, she was pissed when she saw him with Suzie. Tom had no plans of telling Suzie about this. I guess he needed her as a backup just incase Jill said no. Tom told Jill that Suzie was the wedding planner and that is why they were together. That's right, folks. Suzie was dating a lying, manipulative loser and didn't even know it.

When Suzie found out, she tried to confront Tom. He responded or should I say didn't respond by not calling her back....ever. Suzie found it disturbing that after all these years of friendship, he didn't even have the decency to give her an explanation. Fast forward 4 months. Tom and Jill are supposed to get married and they call it off on the day of the wedding. Karma's a bitch.

Tom ends up coming back to Suzie's ward and avoids her like the plague. This continues for months. To make matters worse, they both have callings which requires them to work together. Tom avoids her at church but constantly IM's her wanting to hang out again. Suzie avoids all contact with Tom because he acts like nothing ever happened and he has NEVER apologized about any of it. He asks her out and she just ignores him, hoping that he one day will get the hint.

This just in. Keep in mind, Tom and Suzie haven't spoken in over 6 months. Tom IM's Suzie to say hi. She figures that she should finally just be nice since it's harder trying to avoid him all the time. Then Tom says this: "Sounds like you have plans but I was just going to see if you wanted to come to NY this weekend with my family." Excuse me....did Suzie read this correctly?? Yes, indeed she did. After putting her through hell, he does this?? Like everything will just go back to normal?? Suzie is baffled and gracefully declines. She'd have to be a COMPLETE idiot to go back to that. The nerve I tell ya, the nerve.

Who knows? Tom's sister is getting married and maybe he wanted Suzie to come discuss wedding plans. Seeing that she is a wedding planner and all...

** this story was not stolen from a Lifetime Original script and it may or may not be about me. try that on for size. my life is awesome.

It is true...I am vain.

Have you ever seen someone you used to know along time ago and you used to think they were really good-looking? Lately I find myself finding some old pals via facebook, blogs, etc. This is so horrible but with many peeps I have actually said in my mind, "geez, time has not been good to them. Good thing we didn't end up together." Seriously?? I am that shallow?? Whose to say that someone hasn't come across my picture and thought the same thing??

It is sad that society has this control over our minds of how someone should look and act. If you aren't a size 2, you aren't beautiful. If you don't have the cutest, trendiest clothes, you are a loser. I have totally bought into this and am more concerned with my self image(and apparently others), than I should be.

It's just too damn bad that we all can't grow old and fat together and embrace it. I was going to put some pictures of the unfortunate victims up but then I feared for the day they found my blog and felt really bad...