Brilliant..

A couple of nights ago, I had the chance to go down and volunteer at the homeless shelter. I have never been there before and it was a sobering experience. We got to decorate Valentine's cookies and make Valentine's boxes with the kids. I just wanted to take this cute little girl, Janessa, home with me. When we asked her what she wanted on her box, she specified Doritos. It actually makes perfect sense. Walking around that classroom passing out your V-day cards is tiring! And there is nothing like a little dorito pick-me-up if you will. She was absolutely adorable and it was hard walking out the doors, leaving her in that horrible place.

As a side note, she wanted to make another box for her 3-year-old brother, Angel. Her one request for this box? A midget. She saw "a little man" at the park the other day and was intrigued. We thought maybe she saw a little boy but she was POSITIVE it was a man. Her request was granted. Sadly, I forgot to take a picture of how that turned out.

The Nerve.

Warning: Fake names will be used to protect the innocent or not-so-innocent characters in this story.

So, I have a story about two "friends". We'll call them Suzie and Tom. Suzie and Tom had been friends for a good 5 or 6 years. They dated about 3 years ago and it wasn't really going anywhere so they amicably went their separate ways. A few years later, they ended up being in the same ward again. Tom just got out of a really bad relationship and was looking for a new beginning. Suzie agreed to go out with Tom because she knew that they always had a good time together.

One thing led to another and they were back on again. They spent their winter weekends away trying to escape the SL smog for the SG sun. They had a lot of fun together but Suzie just couldn't get Tom to commit. Tom was quite the sweet talker and always had a good excuse for why he was acting a certain way. He would always blame Suzie for his actions and she always ended up apologizing for something that wasn't her fault. Their relationship was moving at a snail's pace but Suzie always had a lot of fun with Tom so she decided to hold out. Winter turned to spring which later turned to summer. One night, Tom and Suzie decided to go golfing. As they went back to the restaurant where they left Tom's car, they ran into Tom's X, Jill. Suzie and Jill didn't know each other so Tom introduced them. While Suzie sat waiting in the car, Tom and Jill got in a huge argument in the parking lot. Suzie felt awkward so decided to leave. Tom assured her that he would only be a few minutes and would come to Suzie's house.

When Tom arrived, he had a great story of why they were fighting. He defended Suzie to Jill and told her told her that Jill was crazy and couldn't get over him. The next day Suzie found out what really happened. Apparently Tom had proposed to Jill a few days before so naturally, she was pissed when she saw him with Suzie. Tom had no plans of telling Suzie about this. I guess he needed her as a backup just incase Jill said no. Tom told Jill that Suzie was the wedding planner and that is why they were together. That's right, folks. Suzie was dating a lying, manipulative loser and didn't even know it.

When Suzie found out, she tried to confront Tom. He responded or should I say didn't respond by not calling her back....ever. Suzie found it disturbing that after all these years of friendship, he didn't even have the decency to give her an explanation. Fast forward 4 months. Tom and Jill are supposed to get married and they call it off on the day of the wedding. Karma's a bitch.

Tom ends up coming back to Suzie's ward and avoids her like the plague. This continues for months. To make matters worse, they both have callings which requires them to work together. Tom avoids her at church but constantly IM's her wanting to hang out again. Suzie avoids all contact with Tom because he acts like nothing ever happened and he has NEVER apologized about any of it. He asks her out and she just ignores him, hoping that he one day will get the hint.

This just in. Keep in mind, Tom and Suzie haven't spoken in over 6 months. Tom IM's Suzie to say hi. She figures that she should finally just be nice since it's harder trying to avoid him all the time. Then Tom says this: "Sounds like you have plans but I was just going to see if you wanted to come to NY this weekend with my family." Excuse me....did Suzie read this correctly?? Yes, indeed she did. After putting her through hell, he does this?? Like everything will just go back to normal?? Suzie is baffled and gracefully declines. She'd have to be a COMPLETE idiot to go back to that. The nerve I tell ya, the nerve.

Who knows? Tom's sister is getting married and maybe he wanted Suzie to come discuss wedding plans. Seeing that she is a wedding planner and all...

** this story was not stolen from a Lifetime Original script and it may or may not be about me. try that on for size. my life is awesome.

It is true...I am vain.

Have you ever seen someone you used to know along time ago and you used to think they were really good-looking? Lately I find myself finding some old pals via facebook, blogs, etc. This is so horrible but with many peeps I have actually said in my mind, "geez, time has not been good to them. Good thing we didn't end up together." Seriously?? I am that shallow?? Whose to say that someone hasn't come across my picture and thought the same thing??

It is sad that society has this control over our minds of how someone should look and act. If you aren't a size 2, you aren't beautiful. If you don't have the cutest, trendiest clothes, you are a loser. I have totally bought into this and am more concerned with my self image(and apparently others), than I should be.

It's just too damn bad that we all can't grow old and fat together and embrace it. I was going to put some pictures of the unfortunate victims up but then I feared for the day they found my blog and felt really bad...

Dilemma.

Question.
What do you do when you have to go straight to tap from work, and don't have time to go home and get the underwear you need to get your dance on?

Answer.
You go without.


PS- for anyone who read my previous tap post about the lady with no bra, you know that underwear is optional. Because of that, I feel good about what I am about to do.

Wish me luck!

Seriously??

So, I know you are all shocked because I just posted but the sickest thing happened this morning and I think it's pretty blog worthy. So I tutor a couple of kids at Midvale Elementary a few times a week and I was there this morning with my little
1st grader Gustavo. We were sitting outside the classroom doing some reading when another little boy walks out who obviously isn't feeling well. He was with a teacher and she was holding a garbage can. I quickly put two and two together and realized that this kid was going to blow chunks.

I started to panic because I don't do well with throw up. How I am going to have children, not sure. Anyhoo, the teacher proceeds to stop with the kid ONE FOOT behind the desk I was sitting at and is coaching him so he can make it into the garbage can. At this point, I am sweating. And poor little Gustavo. Probably didn't understand why I was rushing him through his book and yelling at him when he wasn't getting a word right. That little book could not end fast enough. No offense, little man. When the kid started to dry heave, so did I, and I had had enough. I rushed Gustavo back to his classroom while I ran around the corner. Don't think I didn't give that teacher the biggest crusty ever as I ran by her! Why would you not take the kid to the bathroom?? Does she not understand that some people have NO tolerance for throw up? And the poor kid! Who wants to throw up in a hallway while others are passing by? I am telling you, if he would have, I would have too, no matter how empty my stomach was. And then we would have had a situation.

An oldie but a goodie.

I wish I had a pic to go along with this next one because words can't describe what a pic can show. We were celebrating my birth a few weeks ago with my extended family and my dad brought up a story that was totally blog worthy. My cousin-in-law Lindsey even asked why I hadn't blogged about this, so Linds, this is for you.

I'm going to start out by warning you about the Flying J in Nephi. Apparently all the creepos hang out there and this story is just a glimpse of what I have seen take place. Gas stations aren't usually the classiest joints but you definitely see all kinds there. Case in point. We were coming back from our annual Powell trip with the Haths. I wasn't looking my best as I had been on the lake for 7 days and if you know me at all, you know I don't shower too often at the lake. We were on the homebound stretch, and made our last stop in Nephi to fill up. I ran in do use the bathroom and get a little treat. I was standing in line with Brooke when it happened. In walks a trucker that was probably the creepiest man I have ever seen. He gets in line behind me and whispers this in my ear...

"I'll make you a deal. You give me a smile and I won't tickle you."

What?!?!? I have never been so creeped out in my life! I casually laughed but secretly wanted to cry. Meanwhile, what looks like his granddaughter, walks in to say something to him. He proceeds to yell and swear and this little girl while winking at me. Brooke kindly waited for me so that I that I wasn't taken out back and molested. Not sure if I have ever thanked her for that, so thank you Brooke!

Lizzie's married!!

I know, I know...I have been a serious slacker on the blog lately. I'm sure my 4-5 readers are utterly distraught. In all honesty, my life has not been to exciting as of late, so there hasn't been too much to say. I regret to inform you all that Liz got married on Wednesday so LizandAlli and become just Alli...She is sooo happy though! Once again, another bites the dust. She looked lovely and classy as always. That's just a Kennedy standard.