Is THAT the reason why we are still single??

Let me paint a picture...It's a Saturday afternoon. Kelli(my VT coordinator AND friend) and I have been at the ward for 4 hours trying to split the RS and make new assignments for everyone. We sit in the clerk's office with a creepy heater that talks to us yet doesn't produce an ounce of heat. For weeks, we had planned on going sledding with a bunch of peeps and it was all supposed to go down that night. As we huddled around the computer, the feeling in our fingers left. We made an executive decision and decided that sledding was the LAST thing we wanted to do. We opted for dinner and movie instead.

We met at Kelli's house, 6 gals and the 2 guys we talked into hanging out with us. 4 out of the 6 gals had hats on which usually means one thing. We were showerless. To confirm it, I asked everyone to raise a hand if they hadn't showered that day. All hands went up. As we all started to laugh, the look on the boys' faces said it all...It was like they were totally disgusted but didn't want to be rude and say anything. All I'm saying is that it takes time and when you have no set plans...really, why would you? I won't mention someone in particular who hadn't showered on Friday either...shockingly, it wasn't me. The boys claim that they shower because it makes them feel good. My response to that is, not as good as my pj's at 3PM on a Saturday afternoon.

Maybe THAT is why we are still single...just a thought.

As a sidenote: I must say that you were all looking fabulous for not showering. At least we know how to hide it!

And, just incase you didn't know it, Jesus does love you.

Funniness

Aren't families the best? Obviously I am a bit biased, but my family in particular is pretty great. I love, love, love being able to spend Sunday afternoon/nights with my family. Sunday is no longer a relaxing day for me so by the time I pull up at about 4:45, I am more than ready to eat, take a little catnap, and see what we can come up with for a treat. My dad is probably the funniest man alive and him, along with other funnies make Sunday nights always unpredictable. This particular conversation will go down in the books. Poor Vel(my grandma), had to be a witness to the whole thing.

It started out by talking about bidets. My dad was saying that when he builds a house, he has got to have one. With the help of google, we discovered that $1700 can get you a pretty sweet one including a little bonus, the heated seat. Dream come true... This led to a conversation about his first experience with a bidet in Europe. He was sold the first time he used one. Then my mom chimed in with her first experience. She was in Europe and somehow thought it was for washing your feet. Not sure how you would come to that conclusion. This reminded me of one of my favorite stories about my mom. Picture her as a pre-pubescent teen, traveling with her school on a bus across the country. She somehow thought that if you were "horny", that meant you felt sick. She proceeded to tell a boy on the bus that she couldn't help it but she was "horny". Bless her little heart...

Anyhoo, this led to Mike saying that 1) he never uses a public bathroom and 2) he uses baby wipes instead of tp. What?? Do people really do that? I mean, honestly, it sounds delightful but it has never crossed my mind. He told me that once I try it, I will never go back. Pretty sure he might be right on this one.

ThAT led to the topic of men vs. women's plumbing. I won't go into details but let's just say that I learned way more than I ever wanted to about anyone in my family. This whole time, my poor grandma is sitting on the couch, speechless. She asked my dad to take her home right after.

We then proceeded to watch Ghosttown with a little girl scout cookie ice cream. Nothing like some good laughs to start out the week.

** I stand corrected. I just learned from the lovely Wikipedia that with a bidet, you can wash your feet but that it is also sometimes mistaken for a drinking fountain. sick. For more details and a little laugh, click here.

Have you heard the news??

I just got super excited because I found out that this is really happening. I have heard rumors swirling for months and I can now sleep at night because it's been confirmed. If you haven't seen the show, I would highly recommend renting the three seasons that are available. I assure you....you will not be disappointed.

Confessions

So, maybe I set my alarm an hour earlier than I usually get up so that I could hear Jillian from the Bachelor on 97.1. I usually don't see the light of day any earlier than 7:30 but today was a special exception. I love her and she DID NOT disappoint! I decided that if we knew each other in real life, we would totally be friends...

Second, my friend Jayna had a dessert party on Saturday night. I went to the gym that morning and decided that I would work out for an extra hour so I could eat til my little heart was content later that night. I think I went back for seconds 6-7 times so I'm not sure that my extra efforts were worth anything. We were all sitting around the table chatting when a little favorite of mine popped up on Jayna's IPod. Hold On by Wilson Phillips. A classic for any girl (0r guy for that matter) that grew up in the early 90's. Immediately, we all started singing in unison. Before we knew it, we could no longer hear the delectable sounds of Carnie, Wendy and Chynna. We suddenly split into a 2-part harmony and I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a little tear in my eye. Who knew we could all sound so good?? I'm in band so I wasn't surprised by my own vocals but the rest of those closet singers were NOT messing around!

This led to a conversation about how we could sing this in Relief Society and get away with it. Listen to the words...it could TOTALLY be gospel related, ESPECIALLY in a singles ward. Our little minds were churning and if you know my ward, anything goes, so I seriously don't see it causing a problem. Sadly, there is probably a small percentage of girls who have never heard of the WP. They should be shot. Some classic tunes came from those girls and you can thank me later for giving you a little sample below. I do need a musical number for RS in a few weeks so warm up your vocals girls!

**If you didn't catch my sarcasm, yes, I am in a band, and no we are not good, even though we are called "The Goods". Our Christmas album was nothing short of fantastic though and we are currently in the studio recording a "pop" album. More details to come.

Hello Lionel.

If you haven't seen this music video, you don't know what you're missing. Watch it. It is worth the 5 minutes and 27 seconds. It is a real shame that they don't make em like they used to.

A few observations:

1: A blind person's eyes don't look like that.
2: It seems unlikely that she would be able to dance AND do pottery as a blind person. I'm just sayin'.
3: It's official. Lionel is creepy.

Funny things

I was thinking of funny things yesterday. You know, things that will always be funny, no matter how much time passes or how old you are. My friend Dave posted this picture on his FB account and whenever I need a laugh, I always come back to this. Single-handedly the greatest pic ever.



There are a lot of things about this picture that make it so great.

1. The resthome. I'm sure Dave was just trying to do his civic duty and give back to the community with a little musical cheer.
2. He must not be very good, judging by the look on their faces.
3. The lady on the far left has apparently "passed".
4. The lady on the far right is pained by whatever Dave is singing.
5. There is a strange yellow liquid on the table which has a strong resemblance to urine.
6. Dave is just singing away. Bless his heart.

PS: Have you ever noticed that you can seriously say ANYTHING about anyone, good or bad, and if you say, "bless his/her heart" after, it makes it okay? Here are some examples:

"He is such a loser. Bless his heart."
"Poor guy couldn't get a date no matter how hard he tried. Bless his heart."
"She has SERIOUS issues. Bless her heart."

Works every time.

Valentines in SV

Some friends and I decided to take a little weekend getaway to Sun Valley last week. We were having a blast sporting some 1980's snowsuits that we found at Sun Valley's version of the DI, The Gold Mine. I think we went there twice a day for various items. I am telling you, my snowsuit was made for my body! Not only did I wear it for 3 straight days, but I wanted to sleep in it too. It even came with a mysterious stain in the bum area....never looked too closely to determine what it was but I think we all know. See below.


All was well until we decided to go sledding on the last day. The hill looked a little freaky and it was full of bumps. Let's be honest though, we really just needed another excuse to wear our one-piecers. We were there for about 20 minutes when Monique decided to get crazy. Last thing I saw was her flying down the mountain. At one point she got about 3 feet of air. We were dying laughing until she stopped and we realized she was hurt. This is the scene right after the incident. She couldn't get up but was kind enough to let me take a picture. I told her she would thank me later.




This is cute little Kelli pulling her to the car

She thought she broke her tailbone so we decided to take a trip to the ER to check it out. Don't mind us looking homeless.







The bad news is that she had to spend a few hours in the ER and get a shot in the rear. And that little compression fracture she got in her lower back. The good news is that she got all drugged up and has to use a walker for 4-6 weeks...She was laughing just as hard as we were so I don't feel so bad. It certainly makes a good story.

And on the way home, we bought ourselves a little Valentines Gift at the Flying J. A sweet pink t-shirt with a buck on the whole front side. On top of the buck in some sweet writing it says, "this babe bags bucks". You better believe we do. I'll have to post a pic of that later.

**Our celeb siting for the week was Jodi Foster up in the village. This was our conversation after we heard the sales lady ask her if she was Jodi Foster.

Alli: "Oh my gosh, that is Jodi Foster."
Kelli: "Oh jeez, what should we do?"

We just stood there as she walked out of the store. We are nerds.